ComicSpot: Thank you for giving us the honor of conducting this interview.

EvilBurger: Why wouldn't I let you interview me, anyways? I mean, what kind of an asshole turns down an opportunity to get more famous? What the hell?

ComicSpot: That's an excellent question, but WE'RE here to ask YOU about your Halo comic.

EvilBurger: Yeah yeah, details.

ComicSpot: First off, we would like to ask you a question that's on everybody's minds... How do you make these wonderful, godlike comics?

EvilBurger: Ever since the day I started making these comics, somebody has asked me that. Now, if don't mind me taking out some anger.... I DRAW THEM. D-R-A-W. EVER HEARD OF PHOTOSHOP?! If one more person asks me that question, I'll go in-fucking-sane.

ComicSpot: Interesting. How is the ---

EvilBurger: Excuse me, I just want to get this through everybody's heads.... DON'T ASK ME HOW I MAKE THE COMICS. EVER.

ComicSpot: Yes. How ---

EvilBurger: I wasn't done, asshole. Anyways, I WILL BITE YOUR HEAD OFF BEFORE I ANSWER THAT QUESTION ONE MORE TIME. IF YOU WANT TO DRAW, I'M NOT A FUCKING ART TEACHER.

ComicSpot: Oh my. How is the dialogue for each comic written?

EvilBurger: Let me put it this way. When you have a job that is simply hours upon HOURS of doing the same thing, your brain does a certain thing called thinking. Because my shifts are so endless, I have already come up with an entire three months worth of comic dialogue.

ComicSpot: Weird. How long does each comic take to make?

EvilBurger: In the week I make my comic, I usually spend the first 6 days slacking off. Then, on the last day.... well you get the picture. Lets just say I don't get a good night's sleep on the 7th day.

ComicSpot: Do you realize how many grammar mistakes you've made in your comics?

EvilBurger: Yeah, and if you have a problem with them, you can shut the hell up.

ComicSpot: How many fan letters do you receive about your comics?

EvilBurger: I used to get a bazillion gazillion per day, but then they just sort of turned into viruses.

ComicSpot: How long do you expect this series to last?

EvilBurger: Until my head falls off. That can be anywhere from a million years to five minutes from now.

ComicSpot: Are you actually going to start having a plot in your comics?

EvilBurger: Doubt it.

ComicSpot: How many hits has this comic brought to your homepage?

EvilBurger: Honestly, none. I don't think anybody even realizes that I have a home page.

ComicSpot: How many people have visited your Halo section on your website?

EvilBurger: Three: Me, myself, and I.

ComicSpot: Speaking of your Halo section, your video(s) kicked ass. What inspired you to make them?

EvilBurger: Nothing, just another attempt to get hits. It failed. Miserably. I don't even think the ladies were impressed.

ComicSpot: What do you have to say to the fans that have read this far?

EvilBurger: One thing: Congrats! You're a loser!

ComicSpot: That's going to make a lot of people stop reading, maybe we should edit that out,

EvilBurger: You know, that's something that pisses me off, you interviewers are always referring to yourselves as "we". Since when do two people share a keyboard? What the fuck is that about?

ComicSpot: We ar--- Ehrm, I am actually a representative of the organization we have going, and I am forced to share the same opinions with my staff.

EvilBurger: Yeah but that doesn't mean you're the same fucking person. And what the hell do you mean staff? You actually get paid for asking me this crap?

ComicSpot: We'd rather not talk about it...

EvilBurger: Oh I see, so you get paid in dog crap or something?

ComicSpot: Hey, the whole point of this thing is we ask you questions, not the other way around.

EvilBurger: Is that so, hotshot? Go ahead, ask me some more questions.

ComicSpot: Actually, I think we're done.

EvilBurger: So shut the hell up.